At this time next week, I will be on a plane to Southeast Asia.

I will be recording my journey but unfortunately I don’t think Wifi is that abundant over there. I know one month isn’t really THAT long but seeing as how it’s my first experience out there in the foreign world without parental guidance with just me, my cousin, and our backpacks- I feel like I should write a little blurb of my thoughts pre-journey.

I’m nervous, clueless, but with a ravenous sense of wanderlust. Getting away from school and work is as exciting as it is scary. I don’t know what to expect but I suspect I my soul will develop immensely afterwards (if I even get through the trip alive.) I’m at that chapter in my life where I’m supposed to move on from school and find a job/career that i’ll settle down with for the rest of my life, working for money until the day I die. If that’s what growing up means, then the Peter Pan in me is as rambunctious as ever.

I haven’t gotten it figured out yet. Maybe nobody ever has, but I do know that there is so much more to life than the “job” my parents and society want me to have. Some people have families and obligations to live up to which stress more emphasis on obtaining a steady income. I totally understand that. And sure- I’m an only child and you can call me spoiled too. But what good is being an only child if you don’t take advantage of it? What good is being an only child if you aren’t in a relationship and have as many obligations in life?

With less ties than others, i’m given the opportunity to set aside time to discover myself with a trip like this. Whatever happens out there, I will never regret this trip. For how will I know limits from lies if I never try?

Some recent climbing pics (pre-injury)

A Short Take on Writing

I joined Tumblr with the original intent on making it a personal blog and now it seems that ALL I do is reblog other content. In a way though, my reblogs are a way of sharing what I think is beautiful, inspiring, funny, and sometimes just downright fucking sexy. These reblogs ARE me. Images portray a thousands of of different meanings. These images, songs, and videos all resemble a part of me that isn’t so unlike me. It is contorted, confused, and chaotic. I’m a self proclaimed writer but I don’t write much. I honestly just have a love for writing. I’m intimidated by putting my thoughts to the written/typed word because it is chaotic. Maybe a part of me doesn’t want to portray how lost I feel- to the world so I show tid bits and glimpses of it via tumblr.

Albeit I do admit I admire blogs that do post personal things. It gives me some distorted sense of virtual intimacy with a random person online. To know deep personal problems and the little things that make people tick, these are the things that actually make me feel less alone in the world. I’m a single child, and life without brothers or sisters is a life quite lonely. Sure it has it’s perks. I’m spoiled but I don’t flaunt it. At least I don’t think I do. I do my best to be humble with everything in my life (except video games. I’ll fucking own your shit). Yeah friends are there too, but you can’t simply just MAKE a new brother or sister. Cousins are nice too but I feel like it’s nothing compared to a fraternal/sororal bond. But getting back on topic, feeling some sort of connection with a complete stranger out there is something in and of itself.

I believe that’s why I love the printed word so much. If it went through enough effort to be printed, it means that someone somewhere thought long and hard about which word to put down and which word to put out. It’s an art. Seeing which words flow seamlessly with each other whilst still having the ability to convey subtle hidden messages. I want to be able to reach out to all the introverts out there who go into hermit mode because the things in their everyday life can turn to shit. I want to touch them with words to let them know that there are others out there who know and share their struggle. I’m not talking about self help books or anything like that, moreso I want to provide an escape.

I want to to help people of all ages escape into a world of magical nonsense where dragons breath lightning and frost, where the boy gets the girl/ girl gets the boy. I want to bring them into my world of fiction where I am God. I decide who lives and who dies. If I’m going to entertain people with my writing, why not have fun while I’m at it? Yeah yeah I know, I get shit for comparing myself to God but you see…that’s precisely why I write. I’m free to write about whatever the hell I want and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem- Not mine. I HAVE to be pretentious. It’s not an option in this profession, if you can even call it that.

“Man is naturally born into a state of freedom. He is not born so that he might submit to rules or a master. This though has occurred to me. But does this not contradict the duties of a warrior?”


“Freedom is neither won through painful struggle, nor can it be forced into existence. What’s more, freedom has absolutely nothing to do with one’s social status or profession. To simply accept yourself as you are, and as you live, to let it be. In this is freedom.”

//Jin & Priest.

To me it is interesting to watch anime not only because of it's pure aesthetic value but also for it the ideas it inspires for thought and conversation. What Jin asks of the priest pertaining to what freedom really is- is more perplexing than most realize. The Bushido Code is a doctrine of moral values upheld by the Japanese Samurai that literally translates to "Way of the Warrior". It upholds frugality, loyalty, and honor above all else. What happens when a samurai becomes masterless and considers freewill? To Jin, the duties of the Bushido code was his life. With his very question, he is already free in the sense that he questions his status and direction in life. He is free to contemplate a future without penalty for free thought.

Yet there is always some paradox when it comes to finding a purpose in life. The priest's answer rings true in most buddhist philosophy. Freedom cannot be forced into existence-to accept yourself as you are is true freedom. What happens though when one's social status is focused on being free and happy? By asking about it, you are now mentally barred from becoming it. This theme dates back further than even ancient Japan- way back to Greek mythology. In Greek mythology, characters often find themselves with the predicament of foreknowledge. When characters are told of their fate and/or unfulfilled destiny, does freewill even exist at that point? Do we all grow into the people we are meant to be or do we shape our own lives? By thinking about trying to be free- we are bound by the thought alone. Freedom via peace of mind in itself is a conundrum when you analyze it. To achieve peace of mind, you must simply be- instead of forcing it. Yet with this foreknowledge, achieving bliss and enlightenment becomes near impossible.

Perhaps this is why Balance is so prevalent in Buddhist and Taoist philosophy. To find and refine the right amount of thought and freedom to achieve enlightenment, freedom, and the happiness all buddhists seek.